Redirecting

    My brain has a strange addiction to planning. It isn't common for me to find other people my age that will plan out in advance, but that doesn't mean that I never have that feeling of shock or untidiness in my life. In fact, I'm feeling that as I'm writing this post. I always say, if I don't care, I wouldn't be saying it. Unfortunately, life doesn't come in a box tied up neatly with a ribbon. I look at life as a meal with no recipe. You don't have the steps printed out for you. The recipe is blank, and we have to create the meal for our own success; and that might mean backing up and starting over.

   Since the Spring of 2019, I had my life organized with how I wanted to start the new phase of my life. I followed every step meticulously, as to not ruin my plan for success.  Unfortunately, that plan has fallen off the rails, and there is no repairing it. I realized after the shock value had worn off that this is a point of redirecting my path. I'm not completely starting from square one, I was pushed back a few steps and have to put in some different ingredients. Even though that grieving is mentally hard to swallow, I have to accept the results and change to a route that is more fitting for me. 

     Redirecting is like taking a trip, but getting lost and having to take a detour. Fortunately, it isn't a form of beginning, it leads you in a direction of change. I consider myself a risk taker, but I am the kind of risk taker that it becomes very hard to change my mind when I have a plan of attack; that is a blessing and a curse. People (like me) have a very hard time in finding a path of redirecting because we plan for everything to work out that way that it is planned. If that isn't a recipe for disaster, it usually is. Taking a step back gives us time to reflect on our decisions and readjust. In the long run, it will benefit in the best ways, we just don't like to plan that far ahead because our brains are equip to reject anticipation. It is scary and uncertain for us to step into anything that is out of our control.  We have this dream of a smooth sailing journey, but we pay no attention to the potholes that cover the path. Yes, we get stuck, or delayed, but the trip still stands and continues to impact us in ways that we may not appreciate until years later.

      If I knew how a story ends, why would I read til the end? It is the journey and the events that happen along the way that make it powerful enough to keep going for the finish line. As an author, driver and fellow dreamer, I understand the ways that redirecting a path is hard on us. You can't escape what hasn't already happened, plus, put your future in the hands of someone else because chances are they aren't going to look at a story or plan the same that you are. Your life is your own recipe and you have to be the one to make it. If you think rationally, you are going to make mistakes and have to accept them as accidents and make some changes. The accidents don't ruin what you have already created, they mold the future into something that you won't expect. Take the journey and accept the imperfections as a form of directing you in a path that is different but still meaningful.