The Soul Process

It's time to wash the guilt, frustration, and negativity out and start a new. These last five months have been not without a few bumps and bruises along the way, but I am ready to turn around and head in the right direction this year. Mask up, everyone, it's gonna be a ride.

Photo credit: Walt Disney Animation Studios

Recently, I had watched the new Disney Pixar movie, Soul, over my extended winter break. I don't believe that this movie was made for the kids, but for adults. As the movie ended, I thought about how the main character thought he had everything figured out, became a lost in a world of many given souls, but eventually gifted himself a new meaning to life along with his passion for music. 

As I reflected, it made me realized that over the past six months I have been a lost soul and my spark has been missing. A path that I was on turned blurry and hopeless, along with a passion that I stood beside during my darkest times. Even though continued to loose more and more things to a virus, I damaged a part of myself that a virus can't take away. My spark. 

Going into this new year,  lots things are going to change, nationally, globally, medically, and personally for everyone. If this last year has taught me anything. It's that pain is temporary, healing is mandatory. We all grieve differently and we shouldn't shame ourselves for taking time to reflect and process the events that have impacted us.

For a big chunk of 2020, I ignored the energy of self care and healing because I thought I could handle life without it. My ego was too prideful and I am not afraid to admit that. Halfway through September, I gathered that I was agitated from every little thing that was happening around me. My stress level was through the roof, and my heart rate was always elevated, leading to many panic attacks and dark thoughts. The great beyond started to seem more like a reality and I mostly just woke up because thats what humans are supposed to do every morning. I figured out after months of stress induced days, to find a solution because I couldn't live the way that I was living. I needed to focus on myself and my health again. Once I solved one problem, I found a way out of another and so on. Working through my issue has relit my spark and creativity and that is why I have taken my thoughts back to the keyboard and this blog. We don't have to become lost souls, we just have to find the sparks that light them.

Over the past six months I have moved to an apartment, moved back home, experienced loss, and had more than enough mental health scares. I trudged through all of this while taking 15 credits and acing almost all of my classes in the end. Those situations have showed my perseverance in a small way. As humans, we are allowed to lose our way, but there will always be that one reason that gifts a meaning to our life. You may feel lost, scared, uncertain, or you might not even know what you are feeling right now, but through all of that is a soul purpose. We pride ourselves in our work of whatever kind, but a spark isn't a goal that takes years to succeed in. In my mind, that spark is an object or activity that gets added to your self care cart. Whether thats taking a vacation or meditating in a quiet place in your house, self care is one of the best benefits we can feed our souls. 

Photo credit: Walt Disney Animation Studio

“We only have a short time on this planet. You want to become the person that you were born to be. Don’t waste your time on all the junk of life. Spend your precious hours doing what will bring out the real you. The brilliant passionate you, that’s ready to contribute to something meaningful into this world.”